I feel trapped in these walls. Well, maybe not trapped, but confined. constricted. I came home early today to get some work done, but, lately, i’m finding that almost impossible. I need to get out. i need to be some place where i don’t have to wash paper cups before i throw them away. where there’s digital cable and hdtv. a dvd player and some DD5.1 would be lucious. a stereo system? a dart board? a bed larger than a twin so i don’t keep banging into the walls everytime i blink?

why do i need all those things?

i used to have those things.

fuck it, how about just a place to call home?

It’s funny how moving back to home base, getting a nice pay raise in the process, and not paying rent can make you . . . poor. perhaps its that whole CPI vs PQLI thing . . .

I’m tired of living here. I’m tired of hearing my brother dig at me for complaining that i’m tired of living here. If I hear the words, “Well, maybe you need your privacy more than i do” one more time . . . .

It’s funny. i used to be a laid back guy. things would just roll right off of me. i need to get back to that place. I need to get back to being that person. I’m trying to figure out what’s really changed. Maybe i take the game more seriously now. too seriously. maybe i underestimated my family’s ability to nit pick the living shit out of me.

I’m hoping this house thing will be a first step. I’m hoping it means the end of this limbo is excruciatingly near.

This entry was posted on Thursday, December 22nd, 2005 at 5:17 am and is filed under Life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.