So, I get to my car this morning to find a note on my windshield. It was written on a yellow piece of binder paper folded into thirds lengthwise bearing letters crafted with a red sharpie. it read:

Please avoid a ticket. Stay clear of the red zone.

I quickly get over my disappointment of it not being a friendly note, take it off my windshield, head over to the curb and examine the situation. I notice a couple things:

1) there’s ample room for a compact car to fit in that curb space.
2) there’s a fresh coat of municipal red paint that cuts off 12-18 inches off each side of the curb.
And then I get upset.

I get upset for a couple of reasons. first, i don’t appreciate subterfuge. especially when so poorly contrived. whoever had that curb painted and is handing out these notes to whoever parks there, essentially created themselves a private parking space on a public street using public funds.
and then there’s the letter. Please avoid a ticket? is that your pansy ass way of saying “don’t make me call the police?” Stay clear of the red zone? It’s only there because you put it there, you assclown!

then there’s the red sharpie ink. cute. real, fucking cute. how long were you waiting to spring that on someone? bastard.
finally, there are two parts to the law, the letter of the law and the spirit of the law. the former was invented to circumvent the latter. I did nothing to contradict the spirit of the law, so don’t go reprimanding me with your righteousness.

and, now, since I’ve obviously gotten past this, anytime a see a car parked in that spot, i’m fucking calling the cops to get it towed.  yeah, that’s right.  we’ll see how you like going to the pound.  Please avoid a ticket? Stay out of the red zone? How about Please don’t waste my tax dollars to create an extra parking spot for your broke ass kia.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 8th, 2006 at 7:08 am and is filed under Life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.