flight plan
Wednesday, August 16th, 2006I wake up thursday to hear about 24 assholes who tried to blow up planes leaving heathrow airport using liquid something or other and an mp3 player. “Get to the airport at least two hours ahead of time,” the news anchor says. my flight is 8:51am. It’s 7:20am. whoops.
I get to the airport and it looks like if i want to smell like anything other than ass, i’d have to check my bag in. no liquids allowed. no cologne, hair gel, or toothpaste. no water either. oooph.
bag checked, i head to the security check. I’m in terminal one of SFO and there’s a lady pointing to the security check line and telling me to follow it to the end. I follow it through terminal one, into a tunnel, out of a tunnel, past a fish aquarium exhibit, around a couple benches, through a terminal 2 and finally find the end somewhere in terminal 3. all along the way there are piles of water bottles and hair products gathered on the ground, abandoned in the pursuit of homeland security. it gets emotional for some. tears streaking down faces as the last perfume bottle falls to the ground. I check the watch. 8:30. hmmmm . . . .
Luckily, they start pulling people to the front of the line based on departure time. I get through security on and my plane. we leave a half an hour late.
Unfortunately, the rest of the trip wouldn’t get much better. i get to minneapolis/st. paul in time to make my connection, but the outbound flight is delayed thirty five minutes. when i get to new york, we circle for half an hour due to inclimate weather before the plane is diverted to hartford, connecticuit for refueling. Finally get into town at 10:30. three and a half hours late.
worst part of the day: upon boarding my flight in san francisco, i overhear a lady say, “I had to leave my insulin behind.”
who are these assholes and why do they want to blow up planes? what’s so great about blowing up planes anyway?
