Comments on: I can’t be your trainer http://www.attack-gecko.net/blog/2009/06/11/i-cant-be-your-trainer/ Fri, 15 Apr 2011 19:46:36 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Hans http://www.attack-gecko.net/blog/2009/06/11/i-cant-be-your-trainer/comment-page-1/#comment-44038 Hans Fri, 12 Jun 2009 05:26:07 +0000 http://www.attack-gecko.net/blog/?p=330#comment-44038 Man, that's a tough one. I had a similar experience with Tiffany and snowboarding. She said she wanted to learn how to snowboard so we went up to the mountains. I would slowly slide next to her, watching her fall over and over and over again. She took any tips I gave her and took them as me not being supportive. I'm not really sure what she wanted me to do as I was spending my day just riding next to her. After a lot of crying and a lot of frustration, i just gave up and let her ride with one of our friends. He gave her the exact same tips and all of a sudden she was receptive to them. This was especially frustrating because I'm used to "fixing things." When I see a problem, I want to help fix it. When I had some time to reflect, I realized that sometimes I can't be the one to fix it, even if I do have the solution. Hard thing to accept, but just one of the facts of life I guess. Man, that’s a tough one. I had a similar experience with Tiffany and snowboarding. She said she wanted to learn how to snowboard so we went up to the mountains. I would slowly slide next to her, watching her fall over and over and over again. She took any tips I gave her and took them as me not being supportive. I’m not really sure what she wanted me to do as I was spending my day just riding next to her. After a lot of crying and a lot of frustration, i just gave up and let her ride with one of our friends. He gave her the exact same tips and all of a sudden she was receptive to them. This was especially frustrating because I’m used to “fixing things.” When I see a problem, I want to help fix it. When I had some time to reflect, I realized that sometimes I can’t be the one to fix it, even if I do have the solution. Hard thing to accept, but just one of the facts of life I guess.

]]> By: c http://www.attack-gecko.net/blog/2009/06/11/i-cant-be-your-trainer/comment-page-1/#comment-44034 c Thu, 11 Jun 2009 23:46:03 +0000 http://www.attack-gecko.net/blog/?p=330#comment-44034 So, we've got that deal going on at home too. Catherine was upset with me for setting a 1k goal for jumping rope for her. Not crying upset. More anger upset. Kettlebell dude gave her 2k. She doesn't cry for him. She just is now angry at me and at herself now for asking him. I still didn't get free. But you can be her trainer, if you figure out the goals. Her goals probably aren't yours. You might not be "work-out" buddies cause you'll want to run at different speeds (kettlebells at different weights solves our issues) but you can be her trainer. Just like you're pushing yourself farther than you'd feel comfortable physically, in order to improve your fitness levels...you can push yourself further as a "trainer" and be her trainer for what she wants to do, instead of what you think she needs to do. Last night, Catherine confronted me with "I'm doing more kettlebell workouts than you thought I would do!" And she was right, but I didn't want to give her 100% satisfaction. For the same reasons you're talking about here. Where you need to keep on breaking through what you think you couldn't do and proving to yourself you could do it (like being her trainer...). "Yeah. You are doing more than I thought you would do. But not as many as I want you to do." So, we’ve got that deal going on at home too.

Catherine was upset with me for setting a 1k goal for jumping rope for her. Not crying upset. More anger upset.

Kettlebell dude gave her 2k. She doesn’t cry for him. She just is now angry at me and at herself now for asking him.

I still didn’t get free.

But you can be her trainer, if you figure out the goals. Her goals probably aren’t yours. You might not be “work-out” buddies cause you’ll want to run at different speeds (kettlebells at different weights solves our issues) but you can be her trainer.

Just like you’re pushing yourself farther than you’d feel comfortable physically, in order to improve your fitness levels…you can push yourself further as a “trainer” and be her trainer for what she wants to do, instead of what you think she needs to do.

Last night, Catherine confronted me with “I’m doing more kettlebell workouts than you thought I would do!” And she was right, but I didn’t want to give her 100% satisfaction. For the same reasons you’re talking about here. Where you need to keep on breaking through what you think you couldn’t do and proving to yourself you could do it (like being her trainer…).

“Yeah. You are doing more than I thought you would do. But not as many as I want you to do.”

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