Being a superhero ain’t easy. I can say this with some degree of confidence.
First, there’s the whole decision to become a superhero. The long hours, always being on call. Crime never sleeps, blah blah blah.
Once the decision is made, you have to get the superhero body, and apparently even old dudes are pretty ripped. This part takes the longest so getting started early is recommended.
Then, there are the duds. Unfortunately unlike people, not all long underwear are created equal. Apparently most or made for fat men with short torsos, no wrists, and long pinkies. Also, if you get the wrong stuff, your girlfriend with high standards will just laugh at you and say things like, “that’s the scariest looking mask i’ve ever seen.” Luckily, there are ways around that when you live in a city. Namely, go straight to the rental store. And when you go to the rental store, go there in a car. It doesn’t help your secret identity or your self image when you’re waiting at a muni stop with your garb in a dry cleaning bag.
Next, there’s pleasing the public. There are all sorts of aspects to this one. The public is a strange beast. Sometimes they run away from you. Sometimes they embrace you. Sometimes they ask you to do crazy things like crawl up the side of a wall. Mostly, though, they want to go hang out with cinderella. And, y’know, you just have to do the best you can. Saddle up and say, “hi, im’ really friendly. there’s no need to be scared. I’m a superhero.” Or, “You know, i only do that wall crawling thing when there are bad guys around.”
Finally, you have to look good when people are trying to take pictures of you. This might be the hardest part of the entire job. I mean, it’s like you need to be aware of every body position you make because the last thing you want is to be caught on camera slouching. That would just totally ruin your superhero street cred.
But, in the end it’s worth it. You put the effort in (no drinking, see superhero body above), make the sacrifices (hey, pride, get back here this instant!), and make sure you come through for people that matter.