In case you missed the press release, go get some (if you don’t live in the U.S. that is).
Yours truly had a hand in this. imagine working on something that you’re not supposed to be able to see . . . yeah.
Today was three weeks in the making. I tipped the scales at 160.5 last night, went to bed with little to eat and drink and woke up feeling pretty good. not too achy, not too weak. skpped the morning cp of water. skipped breakfast. had to be under 160. just hopped into the shower and got on the bus.
The ride to work was a bit long. The stomach started growling a bit. felt a little woozy. seventy minutes is a long way to go on a parched mouth and empty stomach. anyway, we rolled into campus and i headed straight for the scale, stripped down and weighed in. 160.75. good. the offical scale is a pound lighter than the one in the locker room. I head out and get on the official scale and balance it out. half a sliver left of 160. sweet. didn’t even have to run any weight off. I called the attendant over as a witness, got the measurement, dressed and quickly found the closest donut.
One donut, one banana, one cliff bar, and some orange juice and i’m feeling better than i have in weeks. Now, just needed to wait for 11:30 game time.
I leave my cube at 11:00 and head over to the gym to warm up and stretch out. a five minute run. stretch. a little jump rope, stretch. feeling good, time to get the game face on. I don the bandana.
First event, log press: a 120lbs “log” that you must lift from the ground and press above your head as many times as possible in 60 seconds.
We draw numbers to see who goes first. I luck out and get to go last. knowledge is key. Matt goes first. He puts the log up 5 times. Some other dude goes second, i think he got 3 or 4, then Will goes. 11. wow. that’s a lot. My turn. So, the key to this event is the pelvic thrust. you want to lock your hips as you pick the weight up off the ground and get it to just below your pubic bone. once there, you want one big pop of your hips to get the weight moving out and up and then catch it on your shoulders. if you do it right, you’ll be in a half squat and then your legs are set up to propel the weight up and over your head. complicated, i know.
I step up to the platform. take a deep breath. It’s been a while since i’ve had an audience. I remember my crew days. The pre-race jitters. I feel that kind of excitement again. a tingle. It’s been a while. except now it doesn’t make me nervous. it makes me smile. it makes me want to laugh. i ponder throwing a peace sign and thanking everyone for coming out cause they could have been anywhere in the world . . . i think better of it. stay focused. it’s game time. step up to the log. deep breath. get down. hands on. 1 . . . oh but a peace sign would be so cool . . . 2 . . . shut up and focus . . . 3 . . . careful. get under it, jason . . . 4 . . . use the legs . . . 5 . . . 6 . . . whoa, had to work for that one . . . put the weight down . . . deep breath . . . deep breath . . . 40 seconds . . . pick it up . . . 7 . . . 8 . . . 55 seconds . . . 9 . . . time. what’s a brother to do? Move on to the next event.
Sled Pull: 200lbs sled pulled toward you through the sand from a sitting position
The order now switches to reverse points. so, whoever is in the lead goes last. unknown dude gets 17 seconds, matt pulls 23 seconds or so. my turn. this event is all back. you can start out compressed through the legs, but that’s about it. after that, you want nice long back movement. stretch out grab the rope, pry open with the back and repeat. I start. i finish. 14 seconds. pretty good. Will goes 16 seconds. sweet. back in the game. bring on the next event.
Crucifix Hold: 20lbs dumbbells held at arms length to you sides for maximum length of time.
Matt goes first. He shucks the shirt. he means business. 30 or so seconds. unknown dude puts in for about the same time. Will is up next. it’s a long hold. 53 seconds. 53 seconds. holy cow. alright. clear the mind. get to that special place. there is no weight. just me, my arms, and a whole lot of people. and, lift. There’s no trick to this one really. you just lift and hold . . . lift and hold . . . 20 seconds . . . breath . . . 30 seconds . . . inhale . . . exhale . . . breath . . . 40 seconds . . . the arms start falling . . . breath . . . falling . . . hold it . . . hold it . . . . focus . . . deep breath . . . use your core . . . inhale . . . ooooooooooph. 51 seconds. so close.
Medly event: Pick up two 95lbs dumbbells, walk 100ft, put dumbells down and drag 200lbs sled back 100ft.
So, this is it. one more for the tie. I go first. Only trick here is to keep the feet moving. Here we go. get down, hands on. lift. movemovemovemovemovemovemovemovemovemovemovemovemove drop weight. pick up the sled. pullpullpullpullpullpullpullpullpullpullpull . . .. finished . . . “keep going!” shit. i missed the line. pullpullpullpullpull. finish. fuck. i still have the fastest time so far, but fuck.
Will is up. he picks up the weight. he isn’t moving as fast as i was. i might have a chance. he grabs the sled and gets to the other side. it’s going to be close. very close . . . i lose by .13 seconds.
So, it looks like i’m not the strongest man under 160. damn. oh, well. maybe next year.
Many thanks to the team for coming out to support me. sorry i didn’t bring home the trophy. Special thanks to boss 1 for the videos and boss 2 for the pictures. next year dammit. next year.
conversation with mother:
mom: you guys don’t provide links to my scottrade anymore
me: huh?
mom: I used to go to yahoo finance and my scottrade was there in the upper right hand corner. it was really convenient. now, i have to type ‘www.scottrade’ to get to my scottrade.
So, it looks like for that one visit, mom got a different ad on the page. i wonder how many people have this use case in their models. does this fall into some category of click-fraud? Does our branded search pay us more if a user clicks on the ad or only based on impressions?
Apologies for the lack of updates lately. Life has been put on hold for my impending candidacy for the Yahoo! Strongest Man, also known as Geeks Hurt Themselves for Trophy. competition to be held next week.
For those who don’t know, there will be four events:
So, yeah, that’s what i’ve been up to, lately. Although, conditions only really allow me to train on the log press and crucifix hold. Oh, and practicing my best lou ferrigno impression. The state of hair is making me lean toward sporting some head gear for the competition which begs another question: american-mike bibby-sweatband style or euro-rafael nadal-bandana style? i don’t think my head will fit into a hat no more.
The other aspect to this whole thing is the need to make weight. The weight classes are 160 and below, 161-200 and Open. I was 166 two weeks ago, this morning i checked in at 163. This whole gaining mass/losing weight thing is, well, lame. And if i don’t make it, i get to play with the 200 pounders. Anyway, I’m at the point where i need to start cutting down on food intake, so, don’t be surprised if i’m overly-grouchy the next few days, it ain’t roid rage, i’m just hungry.
Ah, blogging. What a great little movement we have going on the interweb. It’s the technicolor on the Wizard of Oz. The extended, wide screen edition directors cut of your favorite movie. The salt and pepper on a succulent fillet (salmon, mignon, tofu, you choose).
Getting to the point, we in the Y! Sports camp have learned a lot from reading your blogs–how big ben’s accident will affect the gubernatorial election, Ron Artest’s summer job as a bus driver, that some people out there really hate dusty baker. All this from a bunch of blogs. Fantastic, isn’t it? Well, we think so, and we figured it would be nice to help spread the word about all that’s being said in the sports world. So today, we released team blogospheres on our beta site. You can check it out by navigating to your favorite team’s page.
Kidding aside, we know that a lot of you fans out there have opinions and are actively blogging about your favorite teams. We’re trying to give you a bigger audience because we also know that there are plenty of fans out there that want a local fan perspective, even if it is a bit biased. Or maybe just because it is a bit biased. So go check out your favorite team and see what’s kicking around in their blogosphere.
In the ever continuing expansion of NCAA coverage here at the Y! Sports, i’m pleased to announce the unveiling of NCAAB Player Profiles in preparation for our 2006 NBA Draft coverage.
Why is this so exciting? Well, now you can keep track of your favorite players‘ travails as they make their way from the bowels of obscurity(2-25!) to, well, maybe the esophageal sphincter(11-16. I know, not a winning record, but hey, this is the ivy league columbia.).
Enjoy!
So, it’s been out for a little bit, but today, we officially launched beta.sports. What is beta.sports you ask? Find out at the official Y! Sports blog. Ahhhhh . . . nothing like that user generated content goodness. Go get some.
YMU. I just lost my connection to my license server and can no longer verify that you can listen, in entirety, to all that great music you queued up. Instead, let me provide you with 30 second clips of all your music. Thank you for playing, and I hope you’ve enjoyed this RIAA experience.
You know what, YMU? This is me reaching into my bag, pulling out my cds and ripping all of them to mp3. peace out.
“You look like you’re from the Dukes of Hazzard!”
So, it’s not really a big secret that I have no love for birds. In fact, the only good bird is the dead bird i’m having for dinner. Today, my hate for avian creatures has grown just a little more. actually, hate is a strong word. Let’s say dislike.
Anyway, I’m on my normal run out in the sewage dump that is the Y! backyard. Midway between mile 2 and 3 I come upon a gaggle of geese. No big deal. They’re usually hanging around on that back stretch anyway. In fact, most of them kindly waddle out of my way. Sometimes they hiss, and i make sure i slow down and get on the far side of the trail to get by them.
But today, today would be different.
I’m running past this one bird who’s back is to me, and just as i pass by it flips around and hisses at me. No big deal, i’m already past the thing, so i keep running. Stupid bird. in five seconds it won’t even remember i passed by.
Well, maybe not. Before I take my next step, i hear another hiss directly in my ear. I turn my head and the damn bird is running at me hissing and squaking away. At this point, i’m thinking its nest is somewhere nearby, so i better try to scare it off. I throw my hands up and play like a big bad . . . human.
No effect.
Instead, it begins to take flight. Hmmm . .. not what i had in mind. I start yelling. I give it my angry yell. well, at least I try to give it my angry yell. It’s funny how angry yell while running sounds more like crazy, scared yell. It must be the doppler effect or something.
At this point, it occurs to me how stupid this all looks. I’m booking it so this bird won’t catch up to me, my arms and hands are waving in the air, and i’m yelling like a crazy-angry-scared person. Oh, and let’s not forget the goose flying after my ass.
The goose, by the way, is pissed. Probably thinking I’m mocking it. I’m sure it was insulted somehow.
I’m wondering how long i can continue in this manner. The goose is within an arm length. I figure i could keep this up for a mile, but that’s probably not desirable from an energy expenditure standpoint and, well, y’know, my pride is telling me i can’t be bullied by a damn goose. i begin to explore alternatives.
I turn my head to face forward and suddenly my mile gets a lot shorter. gaggle of geese, jason. gaggle, as in plural, gaggle as in two geese at twelve o’clock ten meters up. damn. The last thing i need is geese gang violence.
Well, so much for peaceful resolutions. In fact, aren’t we already past peaceful resolutions? I mean, i am being chased by a goose whose sole goal is probably to pull a reggie evans on me. Speaking of which: wtf is up with that? I mean ron-ron gives a little elbow and gets suspended. Reggie Evans purposely grabs a man’s testicles and only gets a flagrant 2? where’s the justice?
Whatever. getting back to the story, it’s about this time i begin to ponder how much force it would take to render a goose unconscious. I’m funny. I know. But, hey, I mean, i wouldn’t want to kill the damn thing cause, y’know, it has some little chickies on the way, but i need to get this damn bird off my ass quick before it turns into a three on one, man vs. gaggle.
After a split second, I decide I have no basis for judgement on how much blunt trauma to use and figure i’d just clock the damn thing and see what happens. I mean, it’s in the air just hovering there. I’m imaging either goose cartwheels with feathers flying all over the place or me whiffing badly and getting my cap peeled. Either way, something spectacular is about to happen.
I bring the arms back in, clench the fists. ready? three, two, one, and pou- . . . at that moment the goose settles down and waddles away. The geese ahead of me part to let me through, and all is well. No flying feathers or cartwheeling geese and i still have my testicles. damn straight. I bet that goose could feel my chi gathering to deliver it a deadly, five star blow. damn straight.
I guess the moral of the story is: any run is a good run if you come back with both of your testicles. damn straight.
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